I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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