I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize