Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wish I only lived at night.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
3pm strippers are depressing
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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