I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
