how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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