I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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