we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize