Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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