yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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