One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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