had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
