Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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