Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
