It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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