just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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