those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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