What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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