Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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