I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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