i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize