So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
