What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
