Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
birth control should be required to get into college
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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