i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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