saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I had to cum in my sink.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize