would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
