So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Sponge bath it is.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
