All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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