It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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