I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize