google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
