you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
ttyl tear gas
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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