kristin has been a bad kristin
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
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I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
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I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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