i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
