My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
