Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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