you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
