she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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