i was born a porn star she said
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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