i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize