everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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