Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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