Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
