she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
