for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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