i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
