First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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