You're a womanizer and a bitch.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
