remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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