Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
