This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
