Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
