I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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