God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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